Dear….
You are so confusing to me. No I don’t have the whole oh I love this boy but he doesn’t notice me kind of relationship with you. But it’s still well hard. I remember the week I first met you . You had long hair back then. You came over to where me and my friends were sitting on a Saturday morning. We had lunch me, you , Eliza and Marisol. It’s sad I remember all this. The next day you came and your hair was gone. All the brown curls were gone. I didn’t like you right away I think that I just admitted to myself that I did. Marisol liked you and well you know the girl code don’t like the same guys and all that stupid shit. So I decided that I liked you and wanted to be friends with you and that’s exactly what happened we became friends and at first you never hung out with guys only girls. You we’re funny and sweet. Then you moved into Dylan’s room and you changed but sometimes the old times come back. The music room I’ve come to love that room because that was the room where I’ve had some of my best times because they were with you. You are amazingly talented at the guitar. You played a song one day I love it every time I walked into the music room I could count on you to be playing it. Hockey season was coming to a close it was the finals even though you said you hate hockey you stayed up an sat on that couch-bed with me and Szuba. We’d make oatmeal and just watch the game. Those were good times. Your always good to talk to and have some pretty good advice and interesting stories. You don’t know how much I admire what your doing for Larry. Risking your ass for 30 years of jail for your friend. It’s stupid but it’s admirable. There are memories that stick out in my mind. Last break weak I was in the music with Ben just chillen me reading , him sleeping and you came and sat down and just played guitar for a while. He left and It just felt so right. the time in the kitchen. I was stressed out and you came and helped me and we talked. You told me you push people away who you get close to. I asked you why and you said it was because of your dad. I know it was hard when he died. You were affected greatly by that. You explained to me how you couldn’t get close to anyone because you were afraid they were gonna leave you. That’s understandable I didn’t know how to react but then you turned to me and said “ Do you think we’re close” And I said no , not because I didn’t think it was true but because I didn’t want you to tell me that I was wrong. I didn’t want to get hurt. Though sometimes I get hurt anyways. Your sweaters make me smile and you do too. You talk about Carson a lot and that hurts I mean I like you a lot and I hear about you hookin up with a girl in a volley ball closet .. It’s whatever though. You’ll probably never know how much I do really value our friendship. Thank you , you are truly an amazing person I hope you know that and never forget :)
Olivia <3
